funniest toxic things to say

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and poop out a smarter statement than whatever you just said. 16. It doesnt work. Somewhere, somehow, you are robbing a village of their idiot. And I really hope you stay there. Spending some time would imply Id spend anything on your ungrateful ass. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. Its likely that theres something going on with that person that hasnt yet been addressed. The problem was he/she wanted a serious relationship, and Im a funny girl/guy. There might be affiliate links on some of the pages of this site, which means we could earn a small commission of anything you buy. You are the architect of your life. What is the funniest "toxic" thing someone has said to you? Thanks! By Kuldeep Thapa. I will ignore you so hard you will start doubting your existence. Keep rolling your eyes. They know something is wrong, but they dont know what. I suggest you do a little soul searching. Make your friends bust out laughing with one of these clever things to write on a card: Valentines is the perfect opportunity to express your love to your significant other or write a funny card to your fellow singles. your so fat you can't even fit in in a thousand foot wide pool, You're the grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake, Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have 5 fingers, the middle ones for you. 75 Best Sassy Savage Quotes For When You're In A Mood Mister Rogers would be disappointed with you. But, still. Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait. Live it up today, Lady! Enough to break the ice. Just beware of accidental miscommunications. 17 Best Funny Discord Text to Speech (TTS) Messages and Voices I would like some tips on how to clear my mind from someone with nothing meaningful to contribute. Gen Z Girls Share The Most 'Toxic' Things To Say To Boys During a Fight I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. It will remind your enemies not to mess with you. If you suddenly die, Id immediately travel around the world to search for the seven dragon balls. ' Bianca Del Rio. Roses are red, violets are blue, the trash is dumped and so are you. Ooooh someone call the cops because its got to be illegal to look that good. you look like a gorilla just came out of town riding on a pony, I think i'll need an extra punch to get through all those layers, 50% of your beauty can be fixed with a garbage bag over your head, Ur the reason why god created the middles finger, I was hoping to challenge you to a battle of wits but i see u r unarmed, Roses r red violets r blue god made me pretty what happened to u, Where are u I can only see plastic in front of me. You sound like one of those bleeding-heart liberals., 12. Yo mamma so fat that Thanos had to snap twice, you sooo ugly when i saw you i thought i was dreaming, when your mom cuts onions and crys its because onions remind her of u, Your mum is so fat that when i pictured her in my head she broke my neck, people die everyday after seeing your face ya know, Yo mama is so old this meme is 90 yrs younger then her, your so ugly that i thought you were a posem, rahh most of your makeup can be cleaned with a wipe shut up, Is it just me or, is my roast more popular then you. I used to be addicted to soap, now I'm clean! If looking good were a crime, you would have been arrested several times a day. Forget about the futureyou can predict it. Dont try to think too hard. Go back to Party City, where you belong! Phi Phi OHara. Youre so stupid it might sprain your brain. Youre the reason I prefer animals to people. I dont care if you feel like youve earned the right to use that word as a playful tease. 34 of People's Most Relatable and Funny Toxic Traits - nami it can be hard to notice that insults are actually harmful not just playful fun. But the expression, Its all in your head, shouldnt be used when theres still a possibility (however remote) that the complaint is due to a real health problem. Yet even we introverts will sometimes refer to ourselves as antisocial when describing our behavior at social gatherings or our level of social energy at a particular moment. I love what youve done with your hair. Too bad you cant photoshop your ugly personality, It looks like your hair made friends with the dust bunnies under my bed, Your parents got a great job offer at the disappointment club, Ur so fat even dora couldnt explore what was around u, Good Comebacks, Roasts, & Burns: Best 99+ You Need To Know, 139 Best Funny Pick Up Lines To Make Her Laugh & Blush, 179 Steven Spielberg Quotes That Will Inspire You, 15 Funny Insulting Names To Call Your Friends & More To Know, 35 Funny Spongebob Roasts, Quotes, And Jokes, list of really funny comebacks, insults, and burns, funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes. Too many have used this expression to invalidate the feelings of others by implying that the triggered one is overreacting to a prank or offensive remark. I didnt put garlic over my door because I think youre a vampire. Omg, can you slow down? Plus, this page has really mean roast jokes you can tell your friends and co-workers. You are not someone I pretend not to see in public. Youre about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle. Earth has a population of over 7 billion, and I had to meet the biggest loser imaginable. Why do you have to be such a b*tch?, Why People Are So Mean And How To Deal With Them, 12 Of The Worst Negative Personality Traits That Are Truly Nasty, The Definitive List Of 100 Virtues To Live By, 13 Signs Youre In A Love-Hate Relationship, Wondering What You Should Do Today? You can be anal about details and not OCD. It is never okay for a non-African-American person to use this word. Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice. Even smart people can have dumb ideas, but once you dismiss someone as a fool, youre essentially saying they have nothing of value to say about anything. Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot. 20 Toxic Phrases That Can Ruin Your Relationship - Marriage The hardest pill to swallow is knowing nothing is as lethal as your personality. I still have mine. IT SPEAKS! I love you with all my butt. Need some hilarious things to say via text or IRL? And its worth the effort: Laughter is scientifically proven to bring people together, make you more likable, and help people feel more comfortable opening up. Im just glad that youre stringingwordsinto sentences now. 100 Funny Things To Say - Parade: Entertainment, Recipes, Health, Life The tenth is just humming. Either way, if you like this. Keep the roasts coming and the fire burning with more funny roasts! Thats where most accidents happen. Our kid must have gotten his brain from you! Valorant has taken the gaming community by storm. Well, it looks like you made it another year. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain. And rather than suggest ways to have fun together, you decide to make sure they know how bored you are and how its their fault. When I see your face, theres not a thing that I would change except the direction I was walking in. Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons? Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick. I understand everything you said. No, no. After all, I am always kind to animals. I keep thinking you cant get any dumber and you keep proving me wrong. If you were an inanimate object, youd be a participation trophy. You are the reason why shampoo has instructions. What do you say to single people on Valentines Day? Nazi (like Grammar Nazi or Feminazi), 29. Try this: When you shake someones hand, jokingly say, Im so glad you had the privilege of meeting me. Too bad your parents took it literally. Don't be ashamed of who you are-that's your parents' job. I have a present for you. Maybe you should eat make-up so youll be pretty on the inside too. I only thought you talk behind my back! My hair hurts. Your crazy is showing. The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes. 180 Best Insults to Destroy Your Enemies | Thought Catalog That was the day I decided you were my soulmate. But midget is inaccurate, insulting, and never okay. This post has been created by Roman Marshanski, the founder of this site. 31 Hurtful Words (Phrases kind people must avoid using) - Live Bold and Why not take today off? Are you ever overwhelmed with the urge to tell someone to shut up? You owe it an apology. Its the easy recourse of a coward who feels perfectly comfortable arrogantly dismissing the words of someone who isnt there to challenge him. I only take you everywhere I go, so I dont have to kiss you goodbye. I don't know what I'd do without you, but starting tomorrow I'm going to give it a try. Happy Gal-entines, bestie! While were alive, were likely to experience failure or success, as long as were still doing things and striving to reach our goals. 3. your so dumb if we put you in a competition vs a baby the baby will win, Okay, my fatness can be fixed but your ugliness can't. Id like to help you out. You look like something I would draw with my left hand. Alright, let's be real for a minute. A more common variant is She doesnt know what shes talking about, since these words are often spoken by a male to discredit a female who isnt in the room and therefore cannot (immediately) defend herself. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. Your responses are so fast I cant keep up. It implies that you see that person as nothing more than an object blocking the path to your goal which you see as more valuable than that person. Best friends eat your lunch. It could remind them of that pain and possibly lead them back to the same torturing thought-emotion loop. Everyone brings happiness to a room. But friends like you lie on the floor with us and laugh our butts off together. You just take my breath away. Heres another real psychiatric disorder that shouldnt be made light of. A wife asked her husband: What do you like the most in me: my pretty face or my sexy body? He looked at her from head to toe and replied: I like your sense of humor. I hope you wont be saying that to your wife, or if you do, may God send you a gorgeous mistress if that happens. Please just tell me you dont plan to home-school your kids. It's become widespread enough that the New York City Board of Education banned ChatGPT. What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Youre about as useful as a screen door on a submarine. Maybe youll find your brain back there. If this was a game of checkers, itd now officially be your move. XOXO. Don't worry, I wasn't offended. Two wrongs dont make a right. Have a nice day. The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded. /tts A rofl Train goes tichdvdtche tichdvdtche tichdvdtche tichdvdtche tichdvdtche wuuu wuuu wuuu tichdvdxtche tichdvdtche 11. Some people are particularly sensitive to the messages their body is sending them. 22. There is just no satisfaction in telling someone how terrible they are, when they agree and then proceed to beat you anyway. 13 Signs The Relationship Is Over For Him, 109 Best Appreciation Messages To Show Gratitude, The Ultimate Love List: 365 Reasons Why I Love You, 11 Effective Exercises For Letting Go Of Resentment, Letter to Your Daughter: 13 Heartfelt Sentiments to Consider, 13 Best Ways To Deal With A Disrespectful Grown Child, 147 Powerful Morning Affirmations To Start Your Day. 18 Valorant Memes Too Funny For Words. I grew up. Your brain is working overtime today. Patience is a virtue, but I dont want to wait. Youre a conversation starter. Things took a weird turn when Associated Press technology reporter Matt O'Brien was testing out Microsoft's new Bing, the first-ever search engine powered by artificial intelligence, last month. A balloon full of piss makes a bigger splash than your entire meaningless existence will on this planet. This question can surely make her smile after getting to know that she is the reason for your happiness. 7 Best Mean Roast Jokes For Friends, Brothers, And Almost Everyone Else. I do not consider you a vulture. 21. 2. Im not an astronomer but I am pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun and not you. Well yeah, it is your fault. I'm not an astronomer but I am pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun and not you. Excuse my naivety I was born at a very early age. Not everyone is a natural-born comedian, but that doesnt mean you cant add a splash of humor and fun to your conversations. I 'd never roast plastic it's bad for the environment, Yo mama so hairy, when she went to the store, they said ``no pets allowed``, if I picked you up and dropped you the whole earth would cave in on its selfd, your existence is the reason cover 19 exists, if you became a manager of a store not even a Karen would speak to you. I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. No matter how many shmucks I meet in my life, I can always trust you to be the absolute worst. A sense of humor is being able to laugh at something that would actually make you mad if it happened to you. 11. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. thesaurus. Stupidity isnt a crime, so youre free to go. Large and in charge isn't your excuse to be a fat asshole. Decidedly more personal than You know what I hate? this immediately puts the other person on the defensive. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room. This is an A and B conversation so C your way out of it! have you ever considered not trying to be an idiot? Roses are red, Violets are blue. Im not always hungry; sometimes Im sleepy, too. Jan 23, 2021 - Explore Leann's board "Mean things to say.", followed by 659 people on Pinterest. 11. They say our brains dont stop developing until we reach 25; looks like yours stopped a bit early. You are proof that evolution can go in reverse. I found a spot for you. Id say youre dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open. If you were a library book, Id check you out. And yes, Im referring to the mirror as well. And according to every test the doctor runs, theres nothing clinically wrong.. 101 Funny Random Things To Say | Bergeron Knows 17. Love you! borrded the titanic she sunk it, Donald Trump is smarter than you he has a IQ of 2 You have a IQ of -200,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and so on. If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. Do you struggle with small talk? If you were the light at the end of the tunnel, Id turn back around. If you were a booger, Id pick you first. We could cover more ground if we split up. 13 Hilarious Arabic Swear Words and Phrases - Culture Trip Maybe we take some pleasure in finding a particularly apt insult for someone who has wronged us. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. Dont worry, the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest. Lets face it: life gets busy and oftentimes people forget to respond to text messages. 3. I feel so sorry for your parents. Youre one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without the Facebook reminder. "You're ugly when you're angry." 29. Of all the goofballs in the world, you are my favorite. 100 Funny Things To Say 1. If you cant laugh at yourself, I can help you out. These funny things to say are great. They host a movie night every . I present to you: absolutely fucking nothing. The gap in between your teeth look like parking slots. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? I was just imagining the day of your birth in my head. I must have been imagining things. I wish I had a flip phone, so I could slam it shut on this conversation. We look so good together. The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades. I am not ignoring you. Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Using emojis like , or to make sure your friends know that youre messing around. Keep scrolling! Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. After Tuesday, even the calendar says WTF. You could bedumbass partners in crime? Nothing, they just waved. Youre lucky intelligence isnt measured in negative numbers. Id choose your company over pizza anytime. Dismissing someone elses idea or thoughts with these words is hurtful and offensive. 100 Funny Replies and Witty Comebacks to an Apology We hear people say that they want to kiss the butt, touch the butt and heck, some people even say they want to eat the butt. Are all your friends this stupid as well? Its the sound of me not caring. Forget about the presentI didnt get you one! Send someone a text of a lottery ticket and tell them you just won $1,000,000. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. Hold still. For a second there, I thought you made a valid point. 29 What I like best about our relationship is that it doesn't exist anymore. Though, its not always easy to think of a comeback on the spot. Child, Ive forgotten more than you ever knew. When someone dismisses another human being as useless, the intention is to make them feel worthless as if their death would do the world a bigger favor than their continued existence. If laughter was the best medicine your face would cure the world, my phone battery lasts longer than ur relationships, If I wanted to commit suicide, I would just jump from your ego to your IQ. I would never date you. Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke. "You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.". What would I do without you and our deep conversations? Instead of doing that, we could just give the other person the benefit of the doubt and kindly offer them a brief summary of the story behind the point were trying to make. Make sure you commit these to memory. That is where most accidents happen. The TikTok itself is pretty basic, showing Mason and a friend sucking soda with the words, "Girls if you need toxic things to say to boys check the comments" hovering above them. Using the word triggered, though, is insensitive to those who struggle with a real mental illness or with deep, emotional trauma. If Isaidanything to offend you it was purely intentional. If plan A fails, at least there are 25 more letters in the alphabet. Oh, Im sorry. 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If you want to be funnier in social situations, try these jokester-approved tips: When youre feeling a little doubtful about your sense of humor, remember that you can learn to be funny just like any other people skill. If you like these mean roast jokes, please share this page with your friends now. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. I like you just the way you are: uninspiring, uninteresting, and dreadfully unfunny. Introverted does not mean antisocial. If someone never fails, it probably means theyre not doing enough. Did the mental hospital test too many drugs on you today? 50 Hurtful Insults For Your Ex When you Just Need To Be Mean - GLOW UP LIFE Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence. The connotation is never positive, and there are plenty who use it deliberately as a cheap and easy way to tear someone else down. Your face is fine but you have to put a bag over that personality. Dont worry about me. The Department of Homeland Security added your existence to the list of Natural Disasters.. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. No wonder your mom has such a big mouth, you have one the size of a whole house. Neither does it make sense to call someone a success based on successes that dont ultimately define them. How many licks until I get to the interesting part of this conversation? Like my dog. Youre like a cloud. I see no evil, and I definitely dont hear your evil. Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. You must be tired because youve been walking through my mind all day. Dont you get tired of putting makeup on your two faces every morning? Swallow your pride and your tongue while youre at it. Designating someone as an obstacle or a hindrance to your getting something you want is dehumanizing and offensive. Im trying to imagine you with personality. Sometimes I just wish aliens would abduct me and crown me their leader. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so. Or theyre playing it safe. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows you know. So this page has all of the latest brutal roasts plus awesome bonus content. Allow me to assist you in never walking again. Ill never forget the first time we met. This insult accuses someone of being the son of far more than one puta ( "prostitute", also "bitch"): "Son of a thousand whores" is a perfectly ordinary phrase hurl at someone who has annoyed you. Related: 12 Of The Worst Negative Personality Traits That Are Truly Nasty. Because the older she gets, the more hell love her. Kourtney Kardashian. Im lonely, not desperate. Not when you are around, but once you leave. Unfortunately, I dont have any resolutions to make since Im already perfect. Im not going to repeat myself, but Im also glad to do anything that prevents you from talking. antonyms. Sometimes, though, we use offensive words without even realizing it. In case your favorite roast isnt on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. Sorry that I'm not playing my best right now." to which he responded, "I'm glad you lost him and I hope even more people in your family die, including yourself.". The world is beautiful! What distinguishes OCD from ordinary attention to detail are the three words that make up the acronym: obsessive, compulsive, and disorder. Avoid it.

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