my husband left me because he was unhappy

I hope to find a better job and will be the best dad I can be to my kids. Ive lost my best friend, majority of custody of my daughter, my family home, my values and my wife. Plus she cheated on me 3 times that I know off. Even if your spouse returns, the relationship as you know it may have changed, and its OK to express grief: Youre grieving the loss of this relationship, what it meant to you, and the role this person played in your life, says Garcia. He is 17 months. she wants to become a UK citizen, to do that she has to marry this man. They may view the depression as an anchor that will take you both down. I met a woman on-line and its going great but it is long distance Sign up and Get Listed. She came home and during our talk she slipped and said she had slept in the same bed as him. So it wasnt long after that he became violent. In love relationships between two adults, though, shared power is healthier than a one-up, one-down power imbalance. Please fill out all required fields to submit your message. I feel like he blames me for our failed marriage and I know that everything hehas said were all just excuses because he was too much of a coward to admit he was leaving for someone else. All of a sudden we move and after 32 years of marriage, recently he left with a girl who is my youngest daughters age her late 20s. And if you talk to them about it, they might be able to help you get through it faster. I hope u can sort your situation so you are not left rearing the kids by yourself. He also sleeps in another room if I pursue him or attempt to resolve anything or he leaves the house. I am now trying some dating sights.Right away some girl that claimed to live in Texas started e mailing me telling me how she loved me profile and this and that.Anyway i did a background check and found out this young lady lives in the other side of Africa.In Giane.She was trying to tell me that she needed money for documents to come to be with me..Yea right! We were mature, grown ups We did that stuff and left that life long ago?? My experience was so unbelievable that I was in shock, I was diagnosed with PTSD later on. I wish I just could stop thinking about it. I banished him to the basement couch while I tried to deal with my shock and disbelief. After my heart attack I found out she was talking to an ex boyfriend, having an emotional affair. All he has said, via text, is that im an awful person who talks down to him which is not true. I couldnt believe she would do this to our family. I dont intend to be mean when I do so. Technically, there was no reason that I should have still been in such pain yet I was. Take care Don. Now, your one and only is gone and you're left sitting wondering where everything went wrong and why he left. You have known him for a week and you invite him into my bed with our children and you get suspiciously soo tired your eyes are rolling to the back of your head??? You still see her when you see your children, so you can still try. The devil has taken him or her over but it is up to you to be the bigger person and fight through it. In fact, sometimes he can seem to be downright miserable. He is indicating he has no power to change; you have all the power. And although I honestly did not ever intend to hurt her, I can see where she would be hurt. Let's dig a little deeper: We had a wonderful wedding The pain is unbelievable and I am only struggling from day to day. I have been through this, and I know that sometimes it may seem like your marriage is over, but it might not be. With them for years but I lost everything I had and he didnt even wait at least to help me. She told me she left me for four of the reasons you mentioned. 6. My wife of 20 years asked me to move out 33 days ago we have 3 kids together two boys 6 and 19 and a 13 year old girl. They then make efforts to reel you in again ! Then a month later he came home and told me he never loved me and his mind was f$&k#% . The kids were emotional wreck thing of this, so I told lawyer I hired that we were muddy the waters and I will take the pfa so the kids dont have to go thru this. Your partner must understand that they cannot resort to breaking up every time they're feeling overwhelmed by life's challenges. Are we supposed to stay through that too? I used to make more money than him and since I got laid off he changed towards me. What determines a family in 2019? Love to hear feedback, please comments welcome. I stopped for a quart of ice cream on my way home from work today, ugh. Of course, you work. It's the one that causes depressed partners to say they're no longer in love and have never loved their partners. I dont hate him, in fact I care for him, but we have absolutely no similar interests. Carrie and Al are actively seeking help and support. Me if I did nothing then to love him.I asked him to tell me the truth and he said he was confused that loved me but he also had feelings again for her. Moffa, now 76, had been married 52 years, and . Jesus did not ever condone abusive behavior but he also didnt give you a right to judge your partner in a mental or physical illiness. Just for leaving someone that i wasnt happy with. Help, Good Therapy!!!! With research saying couples lose the Im so madly in love with you spark after 2 years at most, probably lots of couples wind up feeling like companions. Im glad youre getting counselling as I think this has hurt you deeply and will need mending from your core. Keep your mouth closed at all times. I have other kids from a previous relationship and I felt saddened by it all at first. He would pick on me for everything in front of the kids. I dont think she will ever know how much I loved her and how loyal I was to her. Can somebody please help????? Still cant believe after a year and a half of unimaginable pain and recovery, I went back to help. I feel invisible again. i had love in college. "It's going decently well. I know it hurts, my husband left me too. And, while cleaning up our home computer, I found a file of pics. There will be light at the end of the tunnel, you just have to search for it and stay positive no matter what. Cleaned up cooked her and the kids dinner and then put them to bed. Sometimes youve got to just let it go. It seems that 3 weeks before my writing her my history and my concerns for us, she had an affair. thanks cassieD.I still call her every day just to hear her voice.I am waiting on a settlement from injuries that i received at work,Which i cannot return to because of the extent of them.She agreed to not seek lawyers or Divorce until my settlement comes through.I am still on her Ins.I also need my knees totally replaced.She agreed to wait until the settlement.I dont know i am so naive and blind.I dont want to think that she is going to take my settlement also.Maby thats why she is waiting to get the big D word until after she knows what the money will be. I come from a family of strong people. As with a garden, when a relationship isnt tended to, it withers and dies. They CAN modify with proper treatment and overcome IF they are willing to work their treatment regime. I didnt like the use of pronouns on this articlehe feels unappreciated, she met someone else, he doesnt love you anymore. Im truly heartbroken. Remember that people fall in and out of love all the time, and you probably dont want to be with someone who doesnt love you deeply anyway. Every day I feel like Im about to die inside. My wife told me we had to go to artiste counseling. We have a routine together. Where are you at spiritually and mentally? He has three kids I have two. The problem isn't your job. Trust Him to emotionally get you through (one set of footprints in the sand means He is carrying you thru this!!!). The sadness consumed me like an angry fire I couldnt put out. The older one continues to feed me hurtful stories such as the lock out incident recently and although it gets to me and the ex continues to tell people her daughters just a liar, I have seen enough to know not everything that little girl says is a lie. Her loneliness for her family is strong. I will admit to being a bit of a pain Im a house wife and he would come home some nights and i would complain about something that happened at home during my day and it would cause a row because he felt as if I was always moaning at him. Take care Don Wed been having problems. My fianc and I live far away from each other and maybe see each other every other weekend. Fortunately, relationship expert and divorce coach Brad Browning knows exactly what it takes to save a failing marriage. You can thank societies changing attitude towards sex with social media being one of the cheaters biggest tools as well as sites like ashley madison.com.rates are as high as up to 70 percent infidelity for women and 80 percent for men. You seem quite smart and extremely able to do this. He ended up walking past me and got in our car and left. Something that was completely against my morals as human being. The reason I write this is again there is evil and i have seen it all my life but the most important thing to remember is the signs people give. The intimate time with her husband was seldom and she wanted more out of life. Please help I feel like Im drowning and dont know how to protect my kids from the pain they will feel, I feel horrible for you, this is going to be a very hard time but youre going to have to focus on the kids. If your husband is gay, there will be no getting that love back. They are together now. How can this possibly be dealt with? As far as how your feeling, its the worst. I promised to do anything. I was so scared and so alone and it was all of a sudden. No point in keeping contact with me. Watch your dignity return. Abuse is never okay, and help is available if you are experiencing it. How can he just forget about his family? The trust we had is gone. Stay Focused, Pray, Keep Faith and Believe . I have been in counseling, a divorce support group and working everyday to believe that I am of value. I dont know who to treat him. I gave a lot of myself over to my marriage and taking on a lot of stuff trying to be a help mate. How are you feeling today? I noticed subtle differences in her towards me, emotionally. Thats were the acceptance came into play . I feel horrible for all of us. If its meant to be it will happen! I dont know. I would take a stand and approach this situation head on. She wont answer my calls or anything again. Trying to figure out why your partner left you can become the bane of your existence. Well, a year and a half ago he announced he needed a separation for 30-days and walked out on us in the middle of the night. I am drowning in my grief. Your marriage can't be strong and peaceful if your husband is acting like he doesn't care. I lost my wife, two stepdaughters and someone I thought was a friend.I was good to her and never cheated. This is my second marriage and the pain is horrific.. I will pray you find the strength to accept this and that you two can still have a good relationship even though it will not be romantic any longer. Telling them she didnt want them,etc, My ex just left me with all the bills lol he walked out of my life like nothing and im the only hurtingif you need someone to talk to Im here, the fafher of my baby gel have been hot n cold for abt three years now .well it started while i was pregnant he used to beat me kick me or drag me on the road beating me if i have found out that he was cheating.or even chase me away sometimes every time he does sumthing wrong but i kept on staying becoz i luvd him n ddnt want to hurt his feelings after giving birth i found out tht he have been changing gels like peds.well i wanted to move out but had no choice things at home are not gud but i stayed unhappy though sometimez he wud say words painfull one but becoz i loved this guy it wasnt easy to just live .i remember one day i was with him n hiz brothers i found out tht his talking with somether lady in his home the i waited for him to see me n then i took my child n went to sleep guess what he budge in n started to drag me out side i tried to run but had no power he catched me n started beating me up n tripped me then i fall n he drag me with my foot untill my leg got dislockated couldnt even walk i wanted out but i forgave him untill other day we werent talking coz he have started it so dd not ask went to shopping when i came back my clothes were out side even my babys clothes then i waited for him he said to me i must go n stay where i will feel free n do whatever i want there well i just packed my stuff n left but after a week came back to him untill now he said tht i must get my own man i said to its better i go n stay with my children instead of this bcoz this time around i have been asking him to stay with his family atlist once in a week not with friends especial gelz friends guys i need ur help am i wrong to move out of this relationship becos i feel like im all by myself n cant be happy when i feel like going out coz hell be controlling me like i am his wife, Thank you for your comment, Thulani. . Then, i had to find a new job to support our family, while he hung out and looked online everyday for 3 months. My now separated wife has called the police on me for suicide watch (ive never been suicidal) and also called childrens aid because I might be a physical danger to our son (the only hitting Ive ever done is on the hockey rink). He is divorced and has 2 young girls. How to cope: Try not to take too much of a righteous or moral stance. I cant know what went wrong. I didnt take money from the family to buy stuff for myself, I didnt spend a bunch of our money on pain pills and lose my job while my wife was five months pregnant, I didnt cheat, I didnt constantly lie about everything. This is one of the best articles Iv read on goodtherapy so far. It is so hard I know.. but Im living proof that you can and will trust again if you allow yourself to believe. Whit from Maine, Hi Im 35 my husband is 42. Jeez, sounds like the 26 year itch. Im so confused and conflicted. The pain cant be explained in words. We are in the office Monday through Friday from 8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m. Mountain Time, and our phone number is 888-563-2112 ext 3. its been a rough go since 2013. He is making me take all my things, after 2 years married, 3 together. This took time, and I was doing ok with the new found insights and I left therapy thinking I was now ok and that I needed to move on in life. 2. 6 months ago my wife of 6 years been together now going on 9 years looks over at me and says she doesnt know if she wants to be married anymore. Read more inspiring stories of single moms: At 7 months pregnant, I found messages online to a dozen women, telling them he hated me, wished I was dead. You have to let go of the past and move on with your life. Apparently, they had worked together at his previous location and she lived in our new location and worked in an adjacent area. I think the worst part is I feel like Ive had my heart ripped out with no closure, as I was left no explanation to her leaving, and pieced over the night that she hadnt been being honest with me about what she had been doing, who shes been seeing etc. For THIRTY years, I pined horribly over this bull****. 2. This all may be true, but once the life goes out of the partnership, it takes a lot of work to cultivate it back to where it needs to be. I need some advice and to help here with my own feelings. My very best wishes to you all. Despite this he kept seeing me but would say we have to keep it casual so u can cope. When Depressed Husbands Refuse Help. If its being away from me, then I have no choice but to deal with this sadness. I am so hurt. We are taking it slow and I hope to move there within a year I cry all the time. I am glad she is back on her meds finally I guess I am just hurting knowing she feels fine while Im a mess. 10 year rule as a military spouse. *they feel smothered It wasnt until I became a single parent that I really began to understand how much of a taboo subject it still is. Until recently she was a loving stepmother to them. Mental illness in a spouse requires a whole other article which I will write. He had over the years became grumpy and this only got worse. I found a job making less money but I manage. I dont make much but still slightly more than my husband and have been helping n financing for all . I do, and I dont. Fact is- the reality might be harsher now. No no no! Just type online discussion forums into any search engine and youll find plenty of forums that can help you get through this. I got back with him. In thinking about it, I realized that my pain was like a SEIZURE of sorts a *continuous* seizure (the neurologist agreed with my assessment); a signal to my brain that wouldnt turn off. I just want her to call me & tell me its going to be ok but she is pressing ahead with this divorce in what seems nothing other than an irrational speed. And I am 129 lbs 5-4, & socially bi resulting from his pillow talk request, so he has had many fantasies come true. I have decided my happiness is what I need. Has anyone given you a chance to tell your side of the story? As the weeks turn into Month I am beginnning to think it was for the best. I was told that the neurontin was developed for treatment of *epilepsy* but that in certain cases, it worked on excruciating pain. You knew I would beg at your feet. You could argue that all long-term relationships lose their spark, but falling out of love usually is code for Im done here. While there are cases in which couples fall back in love, most often its hard to renew this emotional connection. I have been married just for 8 months and my husband has abandoned the house. I moved 800 miles away from everyone and everything I had to try to make this work for us and our 2 young children wasnt even 2 weeks and he left me and moved back in with her why do I still have hope why do I really believe that someday we will work things out? I cant understand why they arent questioning this. It's Over. My wife of 14 total, 11 married just is done. I am sorry I implied anything else regarding that. I would cry all night just waiting for a hug. she took the kids and moved in with her parents and ignored me for a week. But he hurts me everyday. then we went for higher education, there she just started acting weird and started ignoring me also i have seen loosing my priority as the way she was behaving. I dont know how youre not happy when Ive given you everything in the world I dont think youll ever realize what kind of devastation caused our family. The most difficult is the roommate or as you noted, sibling-like Relationship. One thing we never were was abusive to each other but this morning in particular she punched me in the face out of anger. He feels I am impossible to please. Hang in there. My wife is 34. This is going to be GREAT. And to make things worse I think Im getting addicted to them. The more you attempt to this the farther you push your spouse toward what the evil wanted to begin with, loneliness, despair, and hurt. For 20 years of birthdays and Christmass And everything we built I got a garbage bag of clothes. I told her actions speak louder than words and ur refusing to talk but abandoning me to leave the state. all by yourself. My ex mistress got me arrested and the charges were dismissed by he stood by her as if I was wrong the judge agreed with me though I was telling the truth. Sorry this might not be what you want to hear but you have to think of your self do not sacrifice yourself fill yourself up love yourself hold your It took me 27 years to realize I had married a narcissist . REALLY??? Hi Susan, I feel for you. Uncle in Illinois for a few weeks. She isnt in love with me anymore. Thanks for your response. Are you real? And apparently he was to busy to reply,really awkward as we know work together ( why did he take job Iif he was going to do this) so feel only option is to return his posessions as he wont give me an answer, have asked if he doesnt love me any more to just say, etc etc, know just want to move on but he obviously thinks its fare to leave me in no mans land ! She told me she couldnt do it anymore, and that she no longer loved me as a partner/husband. He is a sociopath who researched, calculated and executed a horrific crime on another human being with no remorse, empathy, compassion and humanity!! I just want to know what people think, and if anything would help. I knew my wife was no longer this person that I longed for. Im so sorry, this broke my heart. Any certain? Hopefully my therapy along with meds will help me survive this horrible time of my life. It is the most painful thing ive ever experienced. With no signs no reason why just said he had to go he had to do it. This is my 2nd failed marriage. I think its horrid because they are not educated and working as a medical professional in the industry they are giving really bad advice. Im not sure whats worse having your spouse off the deep end and watching them demonstrate it, or having someone appear completely intact going through life whilst I am going WTF (2018). It took me about 6 months before I tried to get help and went to therapy. So we moved and then I noticed she one week she ceas carry we cell with her at all times, this was not like her she even slept with it . The GoodTherapy.org Team is not qualified to offer professional advice, but we encourage you to reach out. Go to the gym to tske out your anger, watch movies to get out of your painful world for awhile. Its been six months and I dont feel like at any more peace and someways irs worse than before. Use your resources when someone is trying to mess with you . Weve had a strained relationship for a while due to our busy work schedule but I never thought he would do this it doesnt make sense its all so final he wont go to relate because itll be the same answer he says!! Ive talked to my family/friends but obviously its very hard for them to be impartial, and most of their advice has either been play a waiting game and wait for her to contact me, or forget about her and move on. If I had had this information back when I started courting my spouse specifically pertaining to her, I would NEVER have committed to anything. I need advice. What felt worse is that he left after he found out that I was pregnant with his second child. Im heartbroken and sad for out two boys who love him so much. I had no idea she had been this unhappy for such a long time. . Although my son is older, he still has two years of high school left. Brutal to walk in and every turn have that in your face, and it wasnt perfect but I came back everyday after work. Very true . Beg me to take you back and act like youre sorry for all that hurt, all that damage and that you would never ever again and know that will probably take another 20 years to truly believe you. No matter how much you hated your husband for leaving you, the fact is, he still loves you. Chris, first let me apologize for what im going to ask. The only help anyone can offer is it gets better in time. It has now been some time since then and many conversations regarding the relationship not being one where we operated as a couple. Luckily it isnt working and they can see his behaviour for what it is which makes him even more bitter and he subsequently blames everyone else for people not wanting anything to do with him. He left while i was at work after his deeds of emotionally cheating online w countless womam n hitting on women by neighbourhood saying he is single. It hurts to have been so stupid to believe she ever wanted it back at all, probably just guilt for what she did. So, when you believe your husband is having a midlife crisis, most wives find it very hard to do nothing. I told her no more. He says he loves me very much but is not in love with me I am devastated feel like Im dying inside. I will not let him see our daughter until he takes a drug test and std test. So when I went to visit my son and his family he served me with the TRO. Every few weeks. Within a month she snaps the axel and damages the side of her car at a gas station pillar that protects the pumps. Thats her me time and its insulting I dare ask that. He saw a friend of mine recently and told her that he was upset by the split and still really loved me but he wont talk. Saving the relationship when youre the only one trying is tough but it doesnt always mean your relationship should be scrapped. My gf of 5 years left me bout a week ago we lived at her dads her dad decided to move out so she says shes going to live with her mom but i cant stay there with her so im homeless but a week ago i made her mad she left and didnt talk to me until today when she came to get her clothes. Its been five weeks and he put our house up for sale. What happened? Sorry for your situation i am also dealing with a similar situation I was just told by a woman I have been with for 9 years who is also the mother of our 5yo daughter that we will not be getting married next month as planned she will be getting married to someone else this was completely out of no where considering the past five mo have been nothing but me working no less than 80 hours a week as many as 120 just killing myself to build our house and support our family not only did she leave me alone on Christmas she took my daughter and went to be with this man thats older than her granparents she refused to give me a few hours wth my kid Christmas Day eventually I took my daughter that evening thing I cant figure is she was telling everyone of our apparent wedding date and spending all my money saying how she loves me so much and cant wait to be married just hours before she decided it was not what she wants now being in a smaller town immediately everyone knows i felt really low like Im young and have my own business I felt like I was doin ok trying to build a future and she leaves me for an old man I was not only heartbroken but also felt so embarrassed ashamed angry I couldnt even pick my head up I couldnt look anyone in the eye it has been pretty much the most humiliating horrible thing I have ever experienced as a recovering addict I hit a low that far exceeded my worst days of being a herion addict at this point Im still in what ppl wold consider a risky time period for relaps however its just not an option i just refuse to go back to that miserable exestiance being fully clean I felt alive for the first time in years I was feeling happier than Id ever been my life was going great I just couldnt be thankful enough I was at an all time high in life my daughter was just doing great got my business going beautiful woman life was just perfect and then it happened hit a low I never knew where did this come from this woman I trusted with my life how could she just leave me I never thought I could feel so horrible using has not been an issue I know the outcome and I dont need it never got a sorry or nothing not a dam thing it just goes on an on the things got worse and worse big mess she just wont stop trying to ruin my life point is my friend I made really do love this woman more than I can express but I have chosen to sever this wicked witch from my life other than picking up or dropping off my kid as much as it hurts not to fight for her she must not love anyone but herself if she is so willing to risk putting my daughter into a broken home possibility of triggering relapse that will certainly end my life the shame she puts on all of us the lies told for months in church to her parents that happen to be the most amazing ppl I have ever known broke their hearts as well due to their religious stand point and the relationship I have with them this was very disappointing to them disappointed is an understatement I actually was feeling bad about how much it hurt them I couldnt believe it these ppl loved me and their grandchild so much that it really really destroyed their hopes after all they had done to help us get our lives together including the financial means to build a house that was for the three of us something I could not have ever imagined living in without them I originally was doing the house just to help them do whatever they wanted to do with it but then they were just like by the way when its done you guys can have it we only worked nights weekends on it because I never would let them pay me even when I had no idea they would give it to us just because they had already done so much for me in the years I been with their daughter one of the harder things about loosing my girl was that I love her parents like they were my own and I have for many years through all this nothing will ever change between her parents and myself that is a big help I try not to be angry its not been but a matter of days Im up and down I just cant be with a woman that is so selfish and put my daughter through any more than she has endured she has been through enough and I dont have time to give my relationship it all needs to focus on my daughter not to mention that her mother has not shown or made any indication that she is sorry or even willing to come back if you feel like you cant live without her you can I feel the same way but I know I have loved before and I can again in time so can you if you feel you can work it out and move forward with a good result go for it this is not the first time this woman has done this to me you see we have been down this road and all I can say is this was the last time I already know she will make an attempt to come back at some point but I can not let her as much as it hurts and I want to be with her were humans too we deserve better than the pain that type of situation puts us in most times they do it once they will do it again I also have found that in my experience the more beautiful she is on the outside the person in that beautiful shell is ugly rotten there are girls that are beautiful all the way around you just have to be willing to look for them cause they are out there then you gotta be smart enough not to let them get away no matter what no woman is out of any mans league thats just what ppl say that dont have the confidence to get what they want dont feel like you have to accept being cheated on because your not gonna find someone better thats just not true and inner beauty is the way to go Ive had relationships with both and the the pretty ones always make life unbearable I have only met a small handful of women that were beautiful and not messed up in the head beyond repair I have met tons of girls I was not attracted to that by the end of a conversation were suddenly starting to be interesting eventually I become very attracted to and they have been the best girlfriends hands down this has been my personal experience I dont know if it helps but writing about it helps me and hopefully you werent like me and your woman was cheating with an old man this girl is super hot 26 and she is sleeping with an old man I mean like sixty thats just I hope thats not your situation its pretty damaging to my pride manhood whatever but in reality its not me what sane person does that I thought what if I did that to her with some old woman no thanks Im not into it even if I was Id be ashamed enough not too be open about it so if anything you can get a laugh out of it I used to always joke with this girl about her doin this when we watched the movie big daddy once and after that it was just a little joke we had apparently I was joking ok well I hope you come to solution that leaves you happy I am not happy about the choice I made but I just have to do it its hard to imagine the woman you love being with someone thats not you no matter how old or young either way it still hurts and makes you feel like life is over but u gotta take care of the little ones gotta be their dad nobody can be his or her dad better than u and dont go back into something you know is over but you dont want to accept it thats what I did even when she told me she loved me I knew she didnt but she would lie to me and i would pretend like she was telling the truth because I didnt want to accept it was really over for good at some point I knew I would have to so now is as good as any good luck to you I hope you get the best possible outcome just remember your not any less important than her if you let yourself slip into that idea they will walk all over you but I dont know I dont want to give bad advice thats just my experience everything I said is the way it happened for me but cant say for anyone else women are all a little bit crazy in some way guess we all are, Stay strong brotha.

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